Oh crap.

Saturday, July 9^th, 2016

Hastings, UK / Salisbury, UK

It’s 11am BST and I am coming up on 12 hours of blissful sleep. My AirBnB flat is cool, dark, and quiet, three adjectives that do not describe my home in the midst of the LA summer. I’m on day 4 of a 3 week trip to the UK to catch up on recruiting for our office in Battle, UK. This is my first day to sleep in and I feel amazing.

Yesterday I booked a rental car for the weekend with the intention of driving to Stonehenge. I am supposed to pick up the car up at 11am, but I am enjoying sleeping so much that I decide to postpone. 

Around 12noon I finally drag myself out of bed and make a cup of coffee. I drink it black since Europe has yet to discover the joy of half and half. I take some time to watch a few videos on how to drive on roundabouts. I am scared but not willing to abandon my plan.

Before I head out I decide to give the rental company a quick call to let them know I running late. As the phone continues to ring I begin to get a sick feeling in my stomach. I quickly Google Enterprise Rent-a-Car in Bexhill and see that they close at 11am. Oh crap.

I call the main line at Enterprise and explain my situation. The girl in the call center is helpful and lets me know that they have a similar (but more expensive) car in Brighton. They will reserve it, but I have to pick it up by 3pm. Okay, no problem. I quickly Google how to get to Brighton and realize it’s 2 hours away. It's 1pm now. Oh crap.

I decided to make a run for it. I call the Hastings Cab company and beg them to drive me to Brighton, they say no and politely suggest that I take the train like any reasonable person would do in the UK. A very accommodating driver takes me to the train station where I buy a ticket to Brighton and hold my breath the entire ride. Eventually in Brighton, I blot off of the train and into another taxi, which begrudgingly drives me about half a block to Enterprise Rent-a-Car. I fly through the door at 3pm sharp.

The staff at the rental car company are very sweet. It may have something to do with the fact that I am renting an absurdly expensive vehicle (it’s the only car available with an automatic transmission). As it turns out, renting a car in the UK is actually easier than renting one in the US. I show the attendant my California driver's license, sign one form and I am shown to my diesel Mazda station wagon. Ah man, this is going to be fun.

I start off by attempting to get into the “wrong” side of the car. Next, it takes the attendant and me a full 5 minutes to find the ebrake release. She also helps me set up the GPS device.

Okay. I take a deep breath. It’s time to go.

Right out of the gate I turn left onto a one-way street. This is strange, but not terrible since I am also on the “wrong” side of the car. My next turn is underneath a small overpass. BANG. My passenger side mirror has slammed into the side of the bridge. I immediately turn left to get off the main road and pull over. I end up driving up a big hill and onto a narrow road into a residential area. Shit. I keep driving. Eventually I find an open spot and clumsily parallel park.

My passenger’s side mirror is pushed up against the car (it's okay though it has a mechanism to fold inwards when hit). I pull it back out with no harm done. Onto the next problem. The mirror is hanging out of the frame and has been bumping up against the side of the car. It’s hanging on by 2 small wires. I follow my instincts and attempt to push the mirror back into the frame using force. I can see that some plastic parts are broken but there is a lot exposed glue and it seems to be sticking. Thank goodness. I climb back into the car, shut the door, and CRASH. The mirror falls out of the frame again.

I climb back out. 

Upon closer examination I determine that the mirror won’t stick back in its original position. I see that the 2 wires connecting it to the frame are easily disconnected. I disconnect them and place the mirror in the glove box. I’m not sure what I’m going to do about this, but I am going to Stonehenge first. More determined than ever I climb back into the car.

I’m now at least twice as scared as I was this morning, but I am also twice as determined. I turn on the car and begin to drive according to the GPS directions. I am going slowly, but not hitting anything.

The roads in Brighton are narrow and scary but there are also a lot of cars so it’s easy to stay in the correct lane. Eventually I get out of town on onto a small farm road that is heading east. This seems easier. Maybe there won’t be very many roundabouts. Only a few minutes later I hit my first one.

I am ready for this. I enter the roundabout driving in a clockwise direction and stay in the outside lane. That lane automatically exits on the first exit, it's okay though, that’s where I wanted to go.

Whew. I can do this.

I continue down the road and hit a seemingly endless stream of roundabouts. For a lot of them I simply need to take the first exit, which is not a problem. However, for a few I need to take the 2nd or 3rd exit. I know that I am supposed to enter on the inside lane and then move to the outside lane when it's time to exit, but I can’t really bring myself to do this. Instead I continue to enter on the outside lane and exit on the first exit. From there I drive down the street, make a U turn, re-enter the roundabout on the outside, and then exit again on the first exit. It’s a time consuming way of making progress. But it’s progress.

I continue down various country roads. I am gripping the steering wheel with 2 hands and have the radio on silent. Stonehenge closes at 8pm and I should be there by 6pm.

Around 6:15pm I arrive at Stonehenge. I cannot believe that I made it. I go to check in and am surprised that the ticketing windows are closed. There is a sign on the outside stating that the last ticket is sold at 6pm. Crap.

Oh well, I am planning on staying in Salisbury and can see it tomorrow.

Soon I am on the road again. Salisbury is only about 30 minutes away and I have already booked a room at the Red Lion Inn. I spend a ridiculously long time trying to figure out where to park the car in Salisbury and eventually found an overnight lot on the outside of town. I spend another 20 minutes trying to figure out how to pay for parking. It turns out to be free.

I make a quick stop at a store on the way to the hotel. I purchase super glue. I am hoping to repair the car mirror before tomorrow evening. A situation that is still giving me great anxiety. 

Around 7:30pm I finally arrive at my hotel. I drop my bag in my room and immediately start looking for a dinner spot. There is a Nandos across the street and I really want to go there, but instead, I pick an old pub from the 1200s called Haunch of Venison. The pub is adorable and the server is unbelievably nice and charming. I sit quietly and read my book while I wait for my venison stew.

After dinner it is getting dark and the town is eerily empty. I decide to go back to my Inn / Pub for an English Guinness. I spend another hour or so working on my laptop and drinking Guinness on the patio. Around 9:30pm I head up to my room for bed.

The Inn is pretty old and even with my window open, it's terribly hot inside. I try my best to sleep. I have a big day planned for tomorrow. It will be Stonehenge Attempt #2.

Jellyfish

Sunday, April 3rd, 2016.

Portland, OR / Tacoma, WA

It’s 6am and I am tired. I offered Laura a ride to the airport last night and now it’s too late to take it back. I silently curse my past self and begrudgingly get out of bed.

Around 6:15am we approach my rental car and find a parking ticket stuck to the windshield. Ugh. Laura offers to pay for some of the cost but I decline. I am going to let it go and see what happens. After a few wrong turns and a stop for gas I somehow still manage to get Laura to the airport early. She is grateful for the ride and we say our goodbyes.

Now I have about 8 hours to kill before my 4pm flight out of Tacoma, I consider going to brunch in Portland, but instead decide to hightail it to Tacoma and try to hit the zoo before going to the airport. The freeway is gloriously empty and I make it to Tacoma in 2 hours and 45 minutes flat. I now have a comfortable 3 hours to explore the Tacoma zoo and aquarium. I have to stand in line for nearly 20 minutes to get my ticket. I am a solo adult in a sea of small children. I nervously play on my phone and try not to look like a creep. 

Eventually I gain entrance into the zoo and make my first stop in the aquarium. The jellyfish are totally awesome (as always) and I even get to see a few sharks. From here I make a full loop of the zoo and finish up at the polar bears, which are adorably playful.

Around 2pm I am climb back into my Subaru and look for lunch and gas. I end up grabbing Chipotle and gas at a nearby shopping center and then heading to the airport. Around 2:30 I am drop off my rental car. Goodbye blue Subaru; you have served me well. I head into the airport to check in.

Holy Crap. My flight is at 3pm not 4pm! I am instantly resigned to missing my flight but go head and line up at security anyways. I mentioned to one of the guards that I am running late and he insists that I go to the front of the line. I do not argue and waltz right through. From here I break into a full run and make it to my gate with minutes to spare. Ah man, that was scary.

The flight back is uneventful. Eventually I land in Los Angeles and pick up my car in Lot C. 

Visiting Portland was such a great blast from the past; I already want to go back.  

Beer cocktails are the best!

Saturday, April 2nd, 2016.

Portland, OR

It’s 9am and I am slowly crawling out of bed in my Portland motel room. I drove in late last night from a Seattle work trip and booked the cheapest hotel room I could find. It looks even grosser in the harsh morning light. I quickly get dressed, pack my bag and am back in my rental car. It’s a blue Subaru and it’s freaking awesome.  

My first order of business is brunch with Katie, one of my long lost AmeriCorps friends. I have not seen Katie in 10 years, but I am not nervous at all. 

We meet for brunch at a small café in the Northeast part of town. I recognize her immediately and we get right down business. When I last saw Katie she was a recent college grad with a Masters in Biology; now she is a middle school guidance counselor. I am very happy to hear that she absolutely loves her job! I don’t know any teachers, so I have a lot of questions, which she answers calmly and honestly. She is making her career sound very fun and now I am feeling jealous. Soon the conversation turns over to boys. We are both unmarried and dating on Tinder. We are also both having great online dating experiences.

After brunch we make a trip to my old neighborhood, Hawthorne. I haven’t lived in Portland since 2007 but my old neighborhood is exactly as I remember it. We go to Powell’s so that I can buy a new book and then we finally succumb to the bar. It is after noon, so it's okay. 

Katie takes me to a little bar on Morrison where we sit outside (the weather is uncharacteristically awesome) and I order a beer cocktail. I have forgotten how awesome beer cocktails can be and feel sad that I never see them in Los Angeles. After 2 rounds of afternoon drinks we walk back over to my rental, stopping at Powell’s again so that I can buy a copy of Kafka on the Shore, a book that comes highly recommended by Katie. Next I drop her off at her house, vowing to stay in better touch.

My next stop is downtown Portland. My long time travel buddy, Laura, is just finishing up a work conference and is ready to see the town. We are both here on our works’ dime and intend to make the most of it! As I pull up to our hostel/hotel I see Laura sneaking out of the front door and making a beeline for the bar next door. I yell across the street for her to stop. She is happy to see me and turns back around to walk me to the hotel room (To be fair she just completed a 3 day conference on book publishing, so she really needs a beer!).

Unsolicited, I explain to Laura know that the real Portland is located east of the river. She is agreeable so we hop in the Subaru and are off. Katie has suggested that we check out Mississippi Ave, so that’s where we go. We drive around for a few minutes and finally locate a very lively strip of stores, restaurants, and bars with a small brewing district at the end. To the breweries!

As we enter the brewery district, we see a place called Spin; it looks promising. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a laundromat / bar. We actually consider ordering a beer, but it smells too much like soap. Onward.

We end up at Ecliptic Brewing. We quickly find a table outside and I order a pilsner with some snacks and Laura orders a beer sampler. She gets one sip of my pilsner and I get one sip of each of her 5 tastings. We enjoy the weather and catch up on life. Laura has recently moved in with her boyfriend and I am being super nosy. Laura obliges my curiosity. 

Eventually we continue our tour to a bar called Liberty Glass. It is quintessential Portland and I immediately love it. We finish our tour of Mississippi Ave at one of my personal favorites, the White Eagle. This is the first bar that I ever visited in Portland (a trip that resulted in me living in Portland for almost 3 years).

The sun is starting to set and we are both starving. I decide that Laura has to see the Kennedy School (its an old elementary school that has been converted in a bar-restaurant-pool-movie-theater building. It’s as wonderful as I remember and we both enjoy our dinner. 

Laura is starting to look tired, but I push for one more stop at the Backstage to play shuffleboard. The Backstage is my all time favorite bar and we both rally for one last round. 

Around 11pm we head back to the hotel. We fall asleep immediately. I have committed to taking Laura to the airport at 7am in the morning and we are both beat.

Perhaps it was the whiskey.

Saturday, March 19^th, 2016.

Belfast, Northern Ireland, UK

It’s about 11am GMT and I am finally waking up. Cate said that we could sleep in, but when I finally shuffle down 2 flights of steps to her living room, she looks like she’s been awake for at least a few hours. Oh well, it’s time to start our day!

Cate makes me a cup of coffee, using her awesome European kettle (seriously it takes like 1.5 minutes to brew coffee in this thing!) We have a long conversation about the existence of half and half outside of the US and she eventually convinces me to give up on the idea. I begrudgingly drink American coffee with whole milk.

There are 2 main options for the day – the black cab tour, which explains the history behind the Troubles or the Game of Thrones tour. The black cab tour comes highly recommended, but I am totally obsessed with Game of Thrones. I start to explain to Cate that I want to choose history over pop culture but... Before I can finish my thought, she has booked the black cab tour. Internal conflict settled.

We have a few hours before the tour starts, so we walk over to the market. It’s a great open-air market complete with crafts and food. I really want to buy some stuff, but it all looks like decorations in my Mom’s house. I can’t find anything that I want to buy, so I restrain myself and buy nothing. I ask Cate what food I should try and she suggests the Belfast bap. Since Cate is vegetarian and I am ordering a sandwich with every animal on the farm, we have to split up to order brunch. I have to fight my way through a small crowd to order my sandwich. A very friendly lady takes my order but I can not understand a word of what she is saying (I swear I speak English?!). I just keep saying “yes” to all of her questions. Ultimately I end up with a sandwich that is taller than it is wide.

Cate and I eventually find each other and she politely gazes around the market while I make the biggest mess of all time trying to eat my sandwich. After brunch we have about an hour to kill, so we walk over to the main town square. We browse through City Hall, which is pleasantly empty. There is an exhibit about World War 2, which is terribly sad. We also walk over to a look out point attached to the main mall, where we can see the ship building yards where the Titanic was built (Belfast is certainly riddled with tragedy.) 

Soon we meet our driver for our black cab tour. He (like everyone in Northern Ireland) is larger than life and is full of jokes and rhetorical questions. He takes us through the Protestant and Catholic neighborhoods and gives a great show of explaining the ethno nationalist conflict between Ireland and Northern Ireland that is only barely resolved (after the tour Cate explains to me that a car bomb went off in her neighborhood only 2 weeks before I arrived.) As the tour comes to an end I feel sad but also very engaged in recent Irish history. I am surprised by my interest and simultaneously disappointed in my disengagement in other ethno nationalist conflicts. 

After our tour is complete, we take the long way back to Cate’s, cutting through Queens University, where she is currently working as a Professor of Sociology. It is now 2 days past St. Patrick’s Day and the campus is an absolute mess of broken bottles, cigarette butts, pants (yes, multiple pairs), shoes, and other assorted relics of total and utter debauchery. Oh, college life.

It’s now approaching 5pm and we decide that it’s an appropriate time to start drinking again (when in Rome…).

We start out at Europa Hotel, which is Europe’s most bombed hotel (my sadness for Belfast has returned full force). I am surprised that it is a very nice hotel. I am even more surprised that they will not accept Cate’s credit card. Apparently it’s a common for bars to accept debit cards but not credit cards. This is irritating to us, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s probably best for a country with a major drinking problem to discourage the purchase of alcohol on credit. Oh well, we pay with cash and are on to the next pub. We go to a traditional Irish pub in the City Center but end up surrounded by non-Irish drinkers. It’s okay though; the Guinness tastes just as good.

Next we go to dinner at Cate’s favorite restaurant. I order the mussels and they are literally the best mussels that I have ever had. Damn, Belfast, you continue to surprise me. 

Next we meet her friend, Eoin, for a few rounds of whiskey. Eventually it hits midnight and I am strangely not drunk, but am definitely tired. We take a cab back to Cate's and I force myself to shower and pack as I have a very early flight tomorrow.

My time is Belfast has come to an end and I feel very accomplished. The whole experience felt more fulfilling than fun. I can’t quiet articulate my feelings, but I know that I am somehow wiser than I was 2 days ago. Perhaps it was the whiskey.

It's Tradition.

Friday, March 18^th, 2016.

London, UK / Belfast, Northern Ireland, UK

It’s about 6pm and my (company-provided) chauffer is pulling up to Heathrow. It’s the end of a full work week in London and now I am off to enjoy a weekend to myself. I am catching the last flight to Belfast to visit another long lost AmeriCorps friend, Cate and her 2 American cats.

Checking in at Heathrow is uneventful. I have arrived very early and now I am bored. I find a café and order cake and coffee (I’m officially on vacation, which means I get cake.) About an hour before my flight leaves, I make a quick stop at the airport bar to grab a half pint of Guinness. I have heard that it tastes different in Ireland and I want to test that theory. The airport-Guinness tastes pretty good, much better than in California.

After waiting nearly 2 and a half hours for a 45 minute flight, I am boarding Aer Lingus and am on my way to Belfast!

The Belfast airport is tiny and deserted. It looks old, but I decide to withhold judgment for now. Cate has instructed me to take a cab to her flat so I look for the cab line and am completely surprised to see my entire flight in line for a cab and no cabs. Slowly, the cabs trickle in. It is freezing outside, but the girl in front of me is wearing a short skirt with no tights, so I try to not feel so sorry for myself (In true LA fashion, I am wearing boots, jeans, a long sleeved shirt, and a peacoat.)

Finally I get into my cab. I cannot understand a word that the cab driver says. I’m pretty sure that cabs work the same in Northern Ireland so I just smile and give him Cate’s address. Eventually I end up at her flat. Hooray!

When I arrive Cate and her friend, Marseille, are finishing up a very late dinner. They are worried that I am tired, but I am not. To the pub!

Today is the day after St. Patrick’s Day. So it’s “slow”. As it turns out, a slow day in Ireland is like a very busy day anywhere else! The pub is packed and very, very loud. I decide to order a Guinness to test my theory. I want to order a half pint, but Cate does not let me. I acquire my first ever Irish Guinness and it does not disappoint! I make a big deal about the wonderful creamy flavor for all of my new Irish friends, but honestly its anti-climatic because it tastes just like the Guinness at Heathrow. 

After a pint, we move to another, quieter pub. Here, we get a whole table to ourselves and proceed to talk about our favorite topic – boys! Cate is single, Marseille is married and I am dating two lawyers. We have lots to talk about. After we finish this round, Marseille has to go home, but Cate and I are up for one more pub. She decides to take me to the oldest pub in Belfast. It is adorable and a little bit smelly. Oh well, time for more beer!

This pub is kind of awesome. It’s almost empty, but there is a group of locals playing traditional Irish music in the corner. We order 2 beers and I finish mine way before Cate. I tell her that I want to order a whiskey to sip on while she finishes her beer. She encourages me to do so, but when I go downstairs to put in my order to bartender insists on selling me 2 whiskeys (she does not want Cate to be left out). I finally give in and return with 2 whiskeys. Cate can’t stop laughing. She has been struggling with this Irish tradition for over 2 years now.

Eventually we finish all of our alcohol (fulfilling yet another Irish tradition) and walk back home. Cate’s flat has 3 stories and I sleep on the very top. It was an awesome evening and tomorrow I have 1 full day Belfast. I can not wait.