The Dude goes to Calistoga.

Thursday, April 16^th, 2015.

Calistoga, CA

Its 9am and my travel companions, still on Texas time, are awake and ready to roll. I begrudgingly crawl out of bed and don on wine tasting outfit #1 (a long skirt and tank top... In case you are wondering wine tasting outfit #2 is similar. When I drunk packed earlier this week, I made the decision that Napa-Michele will not wear pants as they are too constrictive. I mentally pat myself on the back for making a good-drunk-packing-decision. After all, they are few and far between.).

We start out with brunch at a charming café called Sarafornia. There is quote on the wall that explains the name: “I’m going to make it the Calistoga of Sarafornia”. Wait a minute that quote explains nothing; we will remain confused for the remainder of our vacation. 

Brunch is fantastic. I have biscuits and gravy and my vegetarian companions are satisfied with their meals as well. We finish our very strong coffees, pay the bill, and we are off! It's time to visit some wineries!

We start the day at Clos Pegase. The tasting room kinda looks like a prison from the outside but are not deterred. As we enter, we become aware that we are the first and only customers. The barista is nice; she has a wonderful British accent and serves us 5 different tastings. The wine is just okay. As we are leaving I am guilted into buying a bottle of chardonnay, the service was really good.

Hmmmm, what to do next? There is really only one answer to that question.

 

Its almost noon and we are rolling up to tasting room #2. Envy Winery. Again the tasting room is empty and we suspect that we are the first customers of the day. I resist the urge to tell the barista that it is well past noon in the central time zone. We proceed to small talk (a skill at which we all truly excel… it’s required coursework when you grow up in Texas) and try 5 different types of wine. Near the end of our tasting we decide to take a quick break and sit on the patio with a chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It really is too early in the day to go to a third winery (we have standards).   

We are relaxing and enjoying good conversation when I suddenly wish that we had cheese to go with our wine. There is some in the car, but I think it would be better if I had some in my purse. I find this sentiment simultaneously hilarious and sad… uh oh, I may be drunk.  

Soon its time to make a decision about where to go next. I really, really want to go to Cakebread and Laura and Sarah are agreeable. We need an appointment to taste there, so Sarah sets one up on the ride over. When we arrive the vineyard is beautiful. We are grouped with 2 couples, one of which is from Texas (5 out of 7 of us are Texan!). After a quick tour we are given an overview of how to taste wine and 5 very wonderful pours of different kinds of chardonnays and a few reds. As a bonus they let us keep our glasses when we leave.

After Cakebread we have time for one more stop. We head over to V. Sattui. After our tasting we buy a bottle of white along with some food from the deli and find a table outside. We spend the rest of the day here. The weather is beautiful and the wine is delicious.

After a full day of wine tasting we head back to Calistoga. Having eaten lunch at 5pm, we are not hungry for dinner. It’s time to put on our swimsuits and sit in the hot tub all night. We make it a few hours before we decide to make a grocery store run. Determined to achieve maximum relaxation I throw on my bathrobe over my swimsuit and a pair sandals and wander over to the market. People are staring, but I don’t care. This is my Big Lebowski moment and I feel no shame.

After a dinner of wine, ice cream, and pretzels, we return to the hot tub. We finish off the evening with good conversation and eventually turn in for the night.

I am already excited about tomorrow – we will visit the Dr. Wilkinson Spa and Mud Baths!

Why are we still hiking?!?

Wednesday, April 15^th, 2015.

San Francisco, CA / Calistoga, CA

We wake up a 9:30am. This number was drunkenly reverse-calculated last night, based on the time that wineries close in Napa Valley. Today we are leaving San Francisco and checking into a new hotel in Calistoga, located on the north end of wine country. Before we leave, however, first things first: Brunch.

Thanks to Yelp we find a cute little café within walking distance from our hotel. There are literally 2 tables in the whole place and Laura snakes one of them while Sarah and I wait in line to order. San Francisco is famous for toast (apparently), so I order the daily toast special. It is smothered with mascarpone, orange slices, and other yummy fruit. This brunch is proof that SF really does know how to make a piece of toast.

2 more stops before we officially leave. First order of business is to visit the Trouble Coffee and Coconut Club. This is my request (it’s the subject of an old This American Life episode). What I didn’t know is that the coffee shop is in a little known neighborhood called Outer Sunset, which provides direct access to the beach. It’s empty and beautiful. After several photos we take off for stop number 2: City Lights bookstore. This is Laura’s request. I attempt to buy Ulysses but end up with A Portrait of the Artist instead. Ulysses is out of stock; a fact that only takes 10 full minutes of wandering the aisles while repeating the alphabet over and over again to confirm. I think that this would be easier online, but I keep that thought to myself.

We are officially leaving the city at 12noon; we are far ahead of schedule and decide to make a stop at Muir Woods forest. The drive there is terrible for people who get carsick (a category that includes all 3 of us). Luckily I am driving, so it’s not that bad for me. Laura and Sarah sit quietly, trying not to puke, as I drive very slowly along the curvy, hilly roads. Eventually we arrive and decide to take a quick look around.

Somehow our “quick look around” morphs into a surprise 2-hour hike. We are all pretty go-with-the-flow travelers, so it’s not entirely clear how this happened. What is clear is that I am wearing a dress and no one has water. Near the end of the hike we are moderately dehydrated but cannot stop laughing. We are officially on our way to wine country!

The wineries close at 5pm and now we are running short on time. I convince everyone to buy lunch at Rite Aid and eat it in the car on the way to first winery (I know that there are not a lot of businesses located near the wineries). About 5 minutes later we drive past a perfectly good deli. Oh well, popcorn, trail mix, and granola bars are good too!

We arrive at Jacuzzi Vineyards around 4pm. Hooray for our first tasting! We chat with the friendly barista and try 5 different wines. I am not crazy about them, but Laura ends up buying one bottle. After our tasting we have time for one more stop so we head across the road to Cline Cellars. The wine there is also just okay for me. However, they serve us a piece of salty chocolate and a taste of port before we leave, so I am happy.

Around 6pm we arrive in the very charming town of Calistoga and check into our very charming hotel, which is called Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Spring Resort. I drop Laura and Sarah off to check in and immediately drive to the gas station. I am dangerously close to empty, a fact that I have been keeping to myself for the last hour.

Once we are checked in for the night, there is really nothing else to do. Sarah and I walk into town and buy a large pizza and some more wine. We spend the rest of the evening snacking, drinking, and sitting in the largest hot tub that I have ever seen. We are on vacation and aiming for maximum relaxation.

Tomorrow is a full day in wine country. We are super excited!

 

  

But I don't need any incense.

Tuesday, April 14^th, 2015.

Los Angeles, CA / San Francisco, CA

It’s 7:30am, time to wake up for Girl’s Wine Trip 2015! My bags are packed, outfit picked out, and work email in order. By 8am I am out of the door. Today I am driving to San Francisco to meet my long time friends-turned-travel-buddies, Sarah and Laura, who are flying in from Austin, TX.

I am out of LA in 30 minutes flat. The traffic gods are on my side.

I make my first stop at the rest stop just over the grapevine. I will end up making 3 other stops over the course of my short drive to San Francisco. 2 of which will involve multiple emails and work-related phone calls. It’s a rough trip but I finally make it to the bay around 5pm. Again I am worried about traffic, but it all seems to be heading out of the city and the lanes heading inward are completely open. I take the bay bridge bay and end up paying the toll twice (once through my FasTrak transponder and once in cash). Oh well, I’m here! It’s awesome!

Our hotel is in Union Square and I quickly find the suggested parking garage. When I go to check in I learn that Sarah and Laura have yet to arrive and that I have to wait for them since the room is under Sarah’s name. I leave my bags behind the front desk and wander off to get coffee. I grab a small drink and snack and sit quietly to wait for my friends. While I am waiting a young man asks me to buy incense and when I refuse he calls me racist. I am offended but slightly amused. I forgot what a real city was like.

Soon my travel companions arrive and we all finally converge in the lobby of The Herbert. Vacation Commence!

We quickly check-in and drop our bags in a large room with 2 beds. Tonight I get my own bed, but I will have to share for the next two nights. My travel companions are sisters, ergo everything is divided equally.

Eventually we pick a brewery for dinner and order an Uber to get there in minimum time. Apparently, there is a Giants game happening (we are sports-oblivious) and we really luck out by getting a table without a wait. I eat fried cheese curds for the first time (I maintain that they are really just stubby cheese sticks) and drink 2 very nice IPAs.

After dinner we wander around the city checking out various pubs. We have a lot to check up on. Sarah has changed cities, I have changed relationship status, and Laura has changed modes of transportation (my first friend to earn a motorcycle license!). Naturally, my relationship status temporarily trumps all topics.

Around midnight my travel companions are getting tired. They are from the Central Time zone and it is 2am for them. I don’t mind heading back though, I am secretly tired too. 

Tomorrow we will leave for Napa!

Solita

Saturday September 6th, 2014.

Quito, Ecuador / Miami, FL / Los Angeles, CA

It’s 5am; I am very groggy. Laura is gathering her bags and will soon leave to catch her 7:30am flight back to AUS. As she exits I wave from underneath the covers and promise to see her again soon. By 5:05 I am fast asleep again.

At 8am my alarm goes off. I have 4pm flight back to LAX and half of day to spend in lovely Quito. I quickly get ready, gather my bags and head downstairs to find a driver. I am going to Cuidad Mitad del Mundo. Direct translation: Middle of the Earth City. This is where the equator monument has stood since 1936 (new technology has since proven that the equator is slightly north).

Throughout this entire trip I’ve had a very difficult time communicating with the front desk at this particular hotel and today is no different. As a result of sheer will power (and a lot of gestures) I am able to book a driver to take me to Cuidad Mitad del Mundo, watch my bags while I look around, and then drive me to the airport. I worry incessantly that something will go wrong.   

The morning starts out with a pretty long drive to the actual equator (the driver thinks I should see it and I agree). There is some conversation on the way there, but it is very rough. I keep catching the word “solita”, which I understand to mean small and alone (later it’s explained to me that it’s slang for "little lost child").

Soon we arrive at our destination. There is a small science center and a vista that overlooks a village that sits on the true equator. The view is nice, but there is really not much to do here. After 20 minutes, we leave for Cuidad Mitad del Mundo. Here I explain again that I want one hour to look around and that I would like to leave my bags in the car. I am sure he doesn’t understand, but I really, really want to see the monument. I abandon both my driver and my bags and hope for the best.

The monument is everything that I had hoped. There are cheesy gift shops and little museums all over the place, as well as, a thick yellow line that represents the equator.

The first order of business is to get a few photos of myself on that yellow line. Unfortunately, this is a task not suited for even the most independent traveler; I am going to need help. I look for a trustworthy tourist and eventually find one. As I approach her I realize she doesn’t speak English, but I use the universal gesture for will-you-take-my-picture and she seems to understand. What doesn't translate is that I want multiple pictures and I want them to all to be silly. Eventually I get my point across and she laughs heartily while I pretend to balance on the equator. When my impromptu photo session is complete, I retrieve my camera, thus crossing off another major bucket list item. Boom.

I spend the rest of my morning shopping for equator-themed T-shirts and walking through the adorably, cheesy Ecuadorian museum of history. When its time to return to the car to head to the airport, I say a little prayer, exit the main park, and find my driver right where I left him. Whew.

 

The ride the airport takes an hour and a half. I sit quietly in the car, watching Ecuador pass me by. Because I had planned for many contingencies (none of which happened), I end up at the airport way early.

I spend the next 3 hours sitting in a very empty terminal. I do some shopping in the duty free shop and play several rounds of plants versus zombies on my iPad. Eventually I board my flight back to LAX. Again, I am flying first class, but as it turns out, American first class is nothing like Delta first class. The service is nice but they do not have flat chairs like Delta. It’s okay though, I am pretty tired and am happy to just sit and watch movies.

There is a layover in Miami, which is a madhouse. I get through customs and just barely make my connecting flight. Eventually I end up back in LA around 10pm. My ride home is waiting dutifully outside.

The car ride back is quiet. I will not begin to fully process this trip for several weeks and I will not fully appreciate it for much longer. For now, however, I am just happy to be back at sea level.