Wonderful, I was hoping to be swaddled today.

Friday, April 17^th, 2015.

Calistoga, CA / Napa, CA

Its 8:30am and we are already getting up for the day. We have spa appointments scheduled for 10 and 10:15am and we need to pack, check out, and get breakfast beforehand. Around 9:15am we are heading over to Sarfornia; this is our favorite restaurant in Calistoga. The service is a little slower than we expected and we are wrapping up by 9:55. We quickly walk over to the spa and check in for our appointments.

We have all signed up for a treatment called “The Works”. We have no idea what to expect. The nice lady at the desk tells us that they can take 2 people back at a time. Clearly we all want to go by ourselves, but the problem is solved by Laura and I going together, since her and Sarah are sisters (logic I still don’t understand). It’s okay though; I have feeling that an awesome travel story is about happen as Laura and I are guided behind the curtain and into the lady’s spa area.

The nice woman shows Laura and I to a large, communal changing area and tells us to strip down and then walk over to the far end of the spa. There are lockers for us to store our clothes and shoes. I look skeptically at the nice lady and the communal changing room. She reads my look (which she probably receives 10 times a day) and basically tells me to buck up and loose my threads. Laura and I migrate to opposite ends of the changing area and bury our faces in the corner while we strip. We are friends, but we don’t want to be naked together.

After our clothes are safely stuffed away in lockers located on opposite ends of the changing room, we wrap ourselves in teeny, tiny towels and walk to the far end of the lady’s spa. In this area there are 3 attendants, 2 mud baths, 4 bathtubs overflowing with mineral/spring water and 3 showers. One of the attendants leads me to a shower, takes my teeny, tiny towel away and tells me to rinse off (meanwhile Laura is being led to another shower by another attendant. I mentally take note of my head start and rinse off super fast so that I can hop in my mud bath before Laura gets out of the shower. As soon as Laura is safely tucked away in her shower, I basically bolt out of mine and announce that I am ready for the mud. She walks me over to a large tub full of mud and gives an agonizingly, long explanation of how to properly enter the tub. I listen carefully and then plop in.

The mud is a lot denser than I had anticipated and I am basically lying on top of it, totally nude. I know that Laura is taking extra long in her shower in order to give me a head start, so I try my best to shimmy down into the mud before she arrives. Its takes a lot of shimmying on my behalf and my attendant shoveling mud on top of me before I finally sink halfway down into the pit. I am just being fitted with a spa pillow and cucumber slices for eyes when I hear Laura being directed on the proper way to enter the tub. I sit still with my eyes closed in order to give my friend some illusion of privacy.

At first the mud is relaxing. It’s warm and dense. After the novelty of it begins to wear off I become hyper aware of the smell (it actually smells like mud) and the heat. Just when I think I cannot take it anymore I am summoned by my spa attendant to get out of the tub and back into the shower. Getting out of the mud is also super awkward, but Laura’s eyes are cucumbered still, so I just try my best to go quickly. After my shower, I am led to a mineral bath, which is personal size tub with water constantly flowing into it and splashing out into the drains on the floor. I make it safely into the tub while Laura is still in her shower. The tubs are divided by curtains, so the illusion of privacy is easier to uphold.

The tub is pretty comfy. My attendant brings me several rounds of cucumber-flavored water, which I continue to drink very quickly. I am moderately hungover and the incessant heat is starting to get to me. After a few more minutes, my attendant comes back and shows me to the smallest steam room I have ever seen. There is another lady sitting across from me and I have to angle my knees to avoid hitting her (Dr. Wilkinson clearly had no understanding of personal space.). Soon the lady leaves and I have the space to myself. I am just starting to relax when Laura enters the steam room. We both have our skimpy towels cinched tightly around us, but it’s still weird. She leaves relatively soon. I want to leave too, but I wait an additional 5 minutes, providing the cursory naked-friend-time-buffer.

Once I exit the steam room my attendant swoops in and leads me into what looks like a small changing room with a cot off to the side. She takes my towel and asks me to lie on the cot, face up. Once I am lying there, she wraps me up in a thin blanket and then leaves. Okay. I lie quietly, swaddled in the blanket. I’m not really sure what to do. I know I should be relaxing, but instead I stare at the celling and wonder what will happen next.

After what seems like forever, a new lady comes in to great me. As she un-swaddles me, she explains that we are going to a massage room, where my treatment will be completed with a 30 minutes massage session. I happily follow her to my treatment room. After a pretty nice massage I am given a robe and sent back into the communal changing room. It is empty, so I grab my clothes from my locker and frantically put them on before anyone else arrives. Once I am dressed again I breathe a sigh of relief and wander over the vanity area where I put on make up and dry my hair.

Eventually we all converge in the vanity area. We are clothed again and ready to hit the wineries!

Since we will be staying in Napa tonight (on the south side of the valley), we decide to try some wineries in that area. Sarah suggests that we go to Andretti and we all agree. On the way there, I realize that I am hungry again. Laura and Sarah agree to make a quick stop at a deli in Yountville, which is on the way. The guy in the deli is Italian, so I order an Italian sub. Laura and Sarah get some food as well.

Soon we arrive at Andretti. It’s 2pm and the tasting room is about halfway full. A nice man pours several tastings and hangs around just long enough to answer questions and provide good service. I like the wine here a lot. After our tasting, we purchase a bottle of red and go outside to enjoy our deli sandwiches, wine, and the beautiful surroundings. 

Now that we are settled we do a quick debrief of our spa experience. We cannot stop laughing – what a strange experience!

Next we decide to go to a winery called Laird. When we arrive the tasting room is empty except for the barista and his cute daughter (who looks around 11 years old). The man insists that we go sit outside; we agree.

It’s a little hot outside, but once we find a place in the shade, we are all happy. We end up trying 5 different wines (3 of which are chardonnays – yay!). The service is great and the wine is great. All 3 of us end up buying one or more bottles on the way out. 

It's getting late, but today is our last day here, so we decide to go to one more winery. Sarah finds one called Trinitas Cellars, which is open late. Hooray!

Trinitas Cellars is actually located in a hotel called the Meritage Resort (which is like Disneyland for winos). We are irrationally happy to be here, even though we have to trudge through a small wedding party to get to the tasting room. Once we are inside, we are greeted by 2 baristas and given excellent service. The wine is okay, but I am not crazy about it. After we are done with our tastings, Laura convinces us to purchase a bottle to drink next to the fire pits. I am moderately drunk at this point, but it’s our last winery and I can’t say no. As we sip our wine and drunk babble about our various lives, I begin to feel sad that this trip is nearing its end. Eventually hunger overtakes nostalgia and we all pile back in the car for Napa, CA, our final destination.

Our hotel is about one mile outside of downtown Napa, a distance that seemed walkable when we were booking the hotel, but we are drunk and hungry, so we park in a garage downtown and head over to Zuzu for the best tapas in Napa. Its Friday night and the wait is an hour, but we don’t mind. There is plenty to do in the meanwhile. We wander around and eventually set up shop at a wine bar next door. By the time our table is ready we are all sufficiently starving (and bordering on too-drunk-to-be-in-public).

Dinner is amazing. After we settle the tab, its time to go check into our hotel. I am definitely drunk, so Sarah drives, I navigate, and Laura sleeps in the backseat.

Checking in is a total blur. We all eventually make it into our designated hotel room and onto our beds.

We may have overdone it. In our defense, it's our last night vacation and none of us wants it to end.   

  

       

 

The Dude goes to Calistoga.

Thursday, April 16^th, 2015.

Calistoga, CA

Its 9am and my travel companions, still on Texas time, are awake and ready to roll. I begrudgingly crawl out of bed and don on wine tasting outfit #1 (a long skirt and tank top... In case you are wondering wine tasting outfit #2 is similar. When I drunk packed earlier this week, I made the decision that Napa-Michele will not wear pants as they are too constrictive. I mentally pat myself on the back for making a good-drunk-packing-decision. After all, they are few and far between.).

We start out with brunch at a charming café called Sarafornia. There is quote on the wall that explains the name: “I’m going to make it the Calistoga of Sarafornia”. Wait a minute that quote explains nothing; we will remain confused for the remainder of our vacation. 

Brunch is fantastic. I have biscuits and gravy and my vegetarian companions are satisfied with their meals as well. We finish our very strong coffees, pay the bill, and we are off! It's time to visit some wineries!

We start the day at Clos Pegase. The tasting room kinda looks like a prison from the outside but are not deterred. As we enter, we become aware that we are the first and only customers. The barista is nice; she has a wonderful British accent and serves us 5 different tastings. The wine is just okay. As we are leaving I am guilted into buying a bottle of chardonnay, the service was really good.

Hmmmm, what to do next? There is really only one answer to that question.

 

Its almost noon and we are rolling up to tasting room #2. Envy Winery. Again the tasting room is empty and we suspect that we are the first customers of the day. I resist the urge to tell the barista that it is well past noon in the central time zone. We proceed to small talk (a skill at which we all truly excel… it’s required coursework when you grow up in Texas) and try 5 different types of wine. Near the end of our tasting we decide to take a quick break and sit on the patio with a chilled bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. It really is too early in the day to go to a third winery (we have standards).   

We are relaxing and enjoying good conversation when I suddenly wish that we had cheese to go with our wine. There is some in the car, but I think it would be better if I had some in my purse. I find this sentiment simultaneously hilarious and sad… uh oh, I may be drunk.  

Soon its time to make a decision about where to go next. I really, really want to go to Cakebread and Laura and Sarah are agreeable. We need an appointment to taste there, so Sarah sets one up on the ride over. When we arrive the vineyard is beautiful. We are grouped with 2 couples, one of which is from Texas (5 out of 7 of us are Texan!). After a quick tour we are given an overview of how to taste wine and 5 very wonderful pours of different kinds of chardonnays and a few reds. As a bonus they let us keep our glasses when we leave.

After Cakebread we have time for one more stop. We head over to V. Sattui. After our tasting we buy a bottle of white along with some food from the deli and find a table outside. We spend the rest of the day here. The weather is beautiful and the wine is delicious.

After a full day of wine tasting we head back to Calistoga. Having eaten lunch at 5pm, we are not hungry for dinner. It’s time to put on our swimsuits and sit in the hot tub all night. We make it a few hours before we decide to make a grocery store run. Determined to achieve maximum relaxation I throw on my bathrobe over my swimsuit and a pair sandals and wander over to the market. People are staring, but I don’t care. This is my Big Lebowski moment and I feel no shame.

After a dinner of wine, ice cream, and pretzels, we return to the hot tub. We finish off the evening with good conversation and eventually turn in for the night.

I am already excited about tomorrow – we will visit the Dr. Wilkinson Spa and Mud Baths!

Why are we still hiking?!?

Wednesday, April 15^th, 2015.

San Francisco, CA / Calistoga, CA

We wake up a 9:30am. This number was drunkenly reverse-calculated last night, based on the time that wineries close in Napa Valley. Today we are leaving San Francisco and checking into a new hotel in Calistoga, located on the north end of wine country. Before we leave, however, first things first: Brunch.

Thanks to Yelp we find a cute little café within walking distance from our hotel. There are literally 2 tables in the whole place and Laura snakes one of them while Sarah and I wait in line to order. San Francisco is famous for toast (apparently), so I order the daily toast special. It is smothered with mascarpone, orange slices, and other yummy fruit. This brunch is proof that SF really does know how to make a piece of toast.

2 more stops before we officially leave. First order of business is to visit the Trouble Coffee and Coconut Club. This is my request (it’s the subject of an old This American Life episode). What I didn’t know is that the coffee shop is in a little known neighborhood called Outer Sunset, which provides direct access to the beach. It’s empty and beautiful. After several photos we take off for stop number 2: City Lights bookstore. This is Laura’s request. I attempt to buy Ulysses but end up with A Portrait of the Artist instead. Ulysses is out of stock; a fact that only takes 10 full minutes of wandering the aisles while repeating the alphabet over and over again to confirm. I think that this would be easier online, but I keep that thought to myself.

We are officially leaving the city at 12noon; we are far ahead of schedule and decide to make a stop at Muir Woods forest. The drive there is terrible for people who get carsick (a category that includes all 3 of us). Luckily I am driving, so it’s not that bad for me. Laura and Sarah sit quietly, trying not to puke, as I drive very slowly along the curvy, hilly roads. Eventually we arrive and decide to take a quick look around.

Somehow our “quick look around” morphs into a surprise 2-hour hike. We are all pretty go-with-the-flow travelers, so it’s not entirely clear how this happened. What is clear is that I am wearing a dress and no one has water. Near the end of the hike we are moderately dehydrated but cannot stop laughing. We are officially on our way to wine country!

The wineries close at 5pm and now we are running short on time. I convince everyone to buy lunch at Rite Aid and eat it in the car on the way to first winery (I know that there are not a lot of businesses located near the wineries). About 5 minutes later we drive past a perfectly good deli. Oh well, popcorn, trail mix, and granola bars are good too!

We arrive at Jacuzzi Vineyards around 4pm. Hooray for our first tasting! We chat with the friendly barista and try 5 different wines. I am not crazy about them, but Laura ends up buying one bottle. After our tasting we have time for one more stop so we head across the road to Cline Cellars. The wine there is also just okay for me. However, they serve us a piece of salty chocolate and a taste of port before we leave, so I am happy.

Around 6pm we arrive in the very charming town of Calistoga and check into our very charming hotel, which is called Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Spring Resort. I drop Laura and Sarah off to check in and immediately drive to the gas station. I am dangerously close to empty, a fact that I have been keeping to myself for the last hour.

Once we are checked in for the night, there is really nothing else to do. Sarah and I walk into town and buy a large pizza and some more wine. We spend the rest of the evening snacking, drinking, and sitting in the largest hot tub that I have ever seen. We are on vacation and aiming for maximum relaxation.

Tomorrow is a full day in wine country. We are super excited!

 

  

But I don't need any incense.

Tuesday, April 14^th, 2015.

Los Angeles, CA / San Francisco, CA

It’s 7:30am, time to wake up for Girl’s Wine Trip 2015! My bags are packed, outfit picked out, and work email in order. By 8am I am out of the door. Today I am driving to San Francisco to meet my long time friends-turned-travel-buddies, Sarah and Laura, who are flying in from Austin, TX.

I am out of LA in 30 minutes flat. The traffic gods are on my side.

I make my first stop at the rest stop just over the grapevine. I will end up making 3 other stops over the course of my short drive to San Francisco. 2 of which will involve multiple emails and work-related phone calls. It’s a rough trip but I finally make it to the bay around 5pm. Again I am worried about traffic, but it all seems to be heading out of the city and the lanes heading inward are completely open. I take the bay bridge bay and end up paying the toll twice (once through my FasTrak transponder and once in cash). Oh well, I’m here! It’s awesome!

Our hotel is in Union Square and I quickly find the suggested parking garage. When I go to check in I learn that Sarah and Laura have yet to arrive and that I have to wait for them since the room is under Sarah’s name. I leave my bags behind the front desk and wander off to get coffee. I grab a small drink and snack and sit quietly to wait for my friends. While I am waiting a young man asks me to buy incense and when I refuse he calls me racist. I am offended but slightly amused. I forgot what a real city was like.

Soon my travel companions arrive and we all finally converge in the lobby of The Herbert. Vacation Commence!

We quickly check-in and drop our bags in a large room with 2 beds. Tonight I get my own bed, but I will have to share for the next two nights. My travel companions are sisters, ergo everything is divided equally.

Eventually we pick a brewery for dinner and order an Uber to get there in minimum time. Apparently, there is a Giants game happening (we are sports-oblivious) and we really luck out by getting a table without a wait. I eat fried cheese curds for the first time (I maintain that they are really just stubby cheese sticks) and drink 2 very nice IPAs.

After dinner we wander around the city checking out various pubs. We have a lot to check up on. Sarah has changed cities, I have changed relationship status, and Laura has changed modes of transportation (my first friend to earn a motorcycle license!). Naturally, my relationship status temporarily trumps all topics.

Around midnight my travel companions are getting tired. They are from the Central Time zone and it is 2am for them. I don’t mind heading back though, I am secretly tired too. 

Tomorrow we will leave for Napa!